Just Minute 2- Depression/Axiety

Hey guys! So recently in the past couple months I've really been dealing with my battle do depression and anxiety more then ever! It all started when I went to the doctor for a heart problem I've been having for about a year and I went on a heart monitor for a week and it caught nothing. Which was super disappointing to hear in terms of that I'm still dealing with this tickling tingling sensation which is very uncomfortable! I always have it on my mind but I'm a very positive thinker and don't like to think the worse in things so I really go with all the punches and find a silver lining! But I kept getting knocked down I got three scars from this heart monitor which looking kinda is a reminder that I had to wear that in a time I don't want to remember! But again I was okay this sucks but don't worry :D then I had a really liver count to put the topping and it all and turns out I have Gilbert syndrome Which is totally harmless and is just when a bilirubin isn't processed properly in your liver which this was a huge weight lifted off my chest but before this I was so nervous and I freaked out I had a melt down the other day and cried almost all day and I'm not an emotional person but with all this just weighing on my shoulders I've been thinking the worker in everything that could happen but I'm came to this  realization! Sometimes you just need a good cry, ever since that I've felt 100XS better not really super worried about the doctors! I started thinking positively about my blog:) and YouTube I wanna start to take off:D Along with your mind being your strongest medicine to help you think it all through and if you can find that will power to not let those thoughts come through you got this and this ride will be so smooth barley in bumps! I found this quote by  Michael Jordan " Don't be afraid to fail.  Be afraid to not try" This quote really made me think a okay no matter what the fails or bumps are don't let It bring you down take some time but get right back and re-evaluate and make YOU happy!

Having an amazing positive day!:D 

YouTube Plan!

Hey guys! Kind of a late post it's about 11:22 pm I've been thinking all day about how I cannot wait till I get this YouTube and blog really going! Tomorrow after work gonna start planning out YouTube videos I'm in a rut I think of something but it's been done! I've thought to myself that doesn't matter you gotta do what you would love to film and not worry about if others are doing it! I'm not gonna be one of those youtubers who do it just because it's popular! I wanna do it and sincerely want to do it but also of course if it takes off I would love to have suggestions from people I think that would be so cool! Do get an opinion from the watchers of the videos and cannot wait to interact and really have fun with this! So with that I want to give my little advice for the blog that no matter what you love you or what it is everyone has different things and hobbies that really speak about who they are even if it may seem not so interesting to others do it don't worry about what others think of course take consideration but i don't think you should ever change just because it's not what is the "norm" for hobbies or materialistic things like collecting DO IT! It's important and fun for YOU! For me I love Digimon, Pokemon, Minecraft mini boxes! Testing out cool pins on Pinterest or weird candy etc.. I have so many ideas for when I start uploading I wanan do at least 2-3 videos a week! I'm Genuinely excited like a little kid on Christmas! Look forward towards the next two-three weeks I'm gonna. Really start taking my YouTube off :) I just had to have a brain fart first to think about it and my plan!

Have an amazing day :)

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YouTube!

Hey guys! 

I hope your day is going amazing, so far mine has been pretty good! I finally did something I've wanted to do for years which was make and post YouTube videos! Guess what!!! I'm actually doing this makes me so happy I've been wanting a creative outlet and what better then make awesome fun videos. So like everyone I was so nervous to post or do anything with it but then I thought okay it's just a video and you were bold off to put yourself out there for others watch so you can maybe make thier day better, which is one of my goals. I wanna make this YouTube to be something where people go and have fun watching and it could be a get away to watch a 10 minuet video to make their day feel better! I know for me when I feel sad or just kinda blah i watch a variety of youtubers honestly 100% makes me feel better! I know it may seem silly but just relaxing escaping and watching videos that truly interest you. This is a pretty short post but I just wanted to let you guys knows and would be awesome if you checked it out!

Have an amazing day! 

YouTube Channel

Power of Journaling!

 Hey guys! So i just wanted to write a little about journaling, so this is something pretty new to me but I've been doing it for almost month. I got a leather journal that i had been wanting for Christmas from my aunt and also got a nice pen i felt like you needed a fancy pen to journal lol that's my thought process. So journaling i always thought i wanted to do it but never thought about but watching and reading up on it and i thought okay this could actually help. I sometimes once in a while like everyone else get a little depressed or just not feeling the best at times and your thoughts consume you if someone says they don't lies lol its normal. So i started writing in my journal on December 25th 2015 and from that point on honestly I've felt pretty good with myself but those moments still happen not nearly as much. I'm one of those people that if i start thinking negative or way to much about something i just tell myself stop! i don't think about it anymore. Just a little more of a back story growing up until i was 19 i was painfully shy like i hated talking to anyone i didn't know and would feel anxiety inside thought of having to talk to stranger really made me nervous. I got over this once i moved to Chicago for school and in Chicago most of the people talk to everyone plus i had to get around the city i wasn't going to get anywhere if i didn't ask. I remember one time i legitimately got lost for 3 hours and i didn't want to ask anymore because i was so freaked out. I started to get better with talking to strangers and started thinking okay i need to get out of this because i was an extreme introvert. Simple things like starting a conversation with someone i did not know was a big step for me so after living out there for about a year i would talk to people and actually act like myself and not worry about being judged by everyone because that was really one of my big things i was so freaked out that even if i was with friends and they wanted to just have fun i thought everyone around me was going to judge me but that was so silly to think when i should of just acted like myself and not worried. Lets skip forward to 4 years later i don't mind talking to people doesn't bother me at all, i don't feel as anxious I'm still introverted since that just the type of person i am I've improved so much.Getting back to journaling and how this has helped me i don't start writing to really late at night probably 12-1 am that's just my peaceful time every ones asleep in the house and i can just write uninterrupted. I usually write about 3 pages night before i start falling asleep LOL! Along with writing listening to music is also a great way to relax and listen to music one of my favorites is Olivver the Kid - The boy who cried wolf. This album is amazing and personally for me just really makes me feel relaxed and like i can really start to step out of my comfort zone and just me :) which is a great feeling and i would highly recommend him every ones gonna have their own take way but he is a great artist with amazing powerful lyrics! One last thing that i always like to include in my journaling is quotes recently I've been a huge fan of looking for really inspirational ones that speaks to me. My all time favorite is " It's your road, and yours alone other may walk with you but, no one can walk it for you" -Rumi. That's all for tonight's post i challenge you guys to really get a pen a paper you don't have to have a fancy journal just a notebook the feeling of writing it relieves so much and to see what you've wrote out in-front of you.

Everyone have an awesome night :) 

Just a Minute

Hey guys, so today is kinda a day where I feel like I don't know how I feel. So I'm 22 years old and I work at grocery store that's definitely not where I wanna be in my life and I constantly feel like and I'm told how I need get a different job and get my life together. What I would enjoy most is if I could actually film a YouTube video so I could have something I actually would enjoy doing. What I was gonna be doing was be a medical assisting which is not really a thing since I've been out of school for so long that at this point I would have to go back for 2 years spend more money and I'm already so far in the whole with debt! It's not really worth it by the time I get my degree and everything done it will be 10 years. So now I'm stuck with not knowing what to do in life and I feel stuck and constantly going through stages of depression. So my goal in life is to get this blog going post a little more and start filming for my YouTube channel that created and I have a ton of ideas for! So with all that going I'm gonna start being more positive and really let my self express who I am! This a short post but I really wanted to vent a little and needed minuet! So guys no matter what if someone's constantly knocking you down or have someone who's shutting you out! Just know that "it's your road ,and yours alone, others may walk with you, but no one can walk it for you -Rumi!
Have an awesome day guys!

2016! Year of New

Hey! Guys, haven't posted since the week before Christmas was just kinda in a writing block and took a little break didn't feel to encourage! Its a new year 2016! This gonna be the year of new which for me means doing a bunch of stuff I've thought about doing! Already my best friend and i have secured a hotel and in a little over a week we will be by buying our PLAYLIST LIVE tickets!!!! I cannot wait I've always wanted to go to one of these and now we are!!! We are also gonna do a day at universal and go to harry potter world! which is the best place on earth LOL! I really want this year to be about new step out of my comfort zone do things i thought i was too scared to do and just do it don't worry about how the ending will be or if someone will like it just gotta do it! Another new i will be doing this year is starting a YouTube channel which is started and set up but I've been kinda hesitant to start filming and was thinking to much into what people may perceive about me! Cant think that way no matter what their will always be people saying something negative don't worry about them and just have to do you and be your true self and not change for anything or anyone! Really strive for those goals you have to set little milestones for yourself even the smallest thing towards one of your goals means your actually closer and closer to finishing it! I cant wait to start and have 2016 be my Year of New! Like a said earlier i was in a writing block but also felt pretty down and not excited or that happy! I got out of that hole and never want to fall in it, i surrounded myself with good people and these two quotes. First is from Harry Potter and was said by Dumbledore " Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light" This quote just speaks to me and really makes feel like i can do something and i shouldn't let anything bring me down! The second quote is by gentlemen who said "It's your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you" - Rumi How i see this is its your life and your time, you may share it with others but in the end its solely yours and yours alone and no one should be given the power to change it but YOU! I couldn't be more excited to be doing what wanted to do for years and I'm finally going do it and do it with my ALL! :) I hope you guys also have an amazing awesome Year of New! I challenge you guys do something new you've thought about and do it! Make a little change towards goal no matter how big or small those are still steps towards it :D So guys thanks for reading this and have an amazing wondering Year of New! 

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